Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
