I must be too annoying 4 u.
Duck Duck Cougar?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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