We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
