Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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