eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
