haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
