there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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