You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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