The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
