So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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