dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
