Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
