this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
