Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
