it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
