I can tuck mytits in my pants
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
