The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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