brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
