Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
