The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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