He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I just shit out all my problems.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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