why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
