i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After tacos, we're chasing women.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
