I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
