all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
