she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
