after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
