...so i touched it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
