Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Best friends brother. Beat that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
