I just saw a hot homeless man
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
