he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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