You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
