I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Even my vagina gasped.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
