And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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