Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
