She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
