Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
