Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
