I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
