I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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