it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm having to shit out rocks
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
