Is it because I queefed?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
