i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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