you win again, gameday.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
