I wish i was in the wii world.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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