Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
