He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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