So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
