I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
