So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
